For 5 months, Susan Ercolino says she was afraid to shut her eyes.
Evening after night time, she stayed half-awake in and round MacArthur Park — flinching at footsteps, jolting on the sound of voices, scanning the darkish — as a result of getting some actual sleep might imply getting robbed, overwhelmed, or worse.
Exhaustion didn’t matter. Survival did.
MacArthur Park turned her residence anyway — a spot she says by no means shuts off, by no means calms down, by no means provides you a second to really feel human. By day, she described a relentless churn of drug offers, screaming matches, and our bodies slumped on the grass.
“It’s just like the true dwelling Hell,” Ercolino advised The Put up.
She described the park as a revolving door of fentanyl, meth, and drugs — medicine far stronger and extra unpredictable than something she’d encountered earlier than. Sellers, she mentioned, have been all over the place. So have been overdoses. Narcan reversals turned routine. Sirens blended into the background. Violence wasn’t stunning — it was anticipated.
“That’s simply how it’s there,” she mentioned.
Ercolino’s battle with dependancy didn’t begin in Los Angeles. She mentioned she has spent practically a decade out and in of therapy, biking by means of rehab packages whereas attempting — and infrequently failing — to remain clear lengthy sufficient to rebuild her life. She mentioned she had stretches of sobriety, together with 5 years clear at one level, however relapses saved pulling her again.
She and her fiancé David, the daddy of her twins, have been struggling in Baltimore when a person recognized to her solely as “Gus” provided what seemed like a lifeline — a visit to California and entry into rehab.
She says the assistance got here with strings — private info, insurance coverage she didn’t management — and later realized the apply is named physique brokering. “I used to be brokered,” she mentioned. “We have been brokered.”
She says the rehab pipeline wasn’t constructed round restoration. It was constructed round billing.
When her insurance coverage was terminated after alleged fraud was flagged, Ercolino says she was put out with nowhere to go. That’s how she ended up in MacArthur Park — a unstable open-air drug market the place tents, sellers, and desperation collide day and night time.
At first, she tried to outlive indoors, paying for lodge rooms with what little cash she had. It didn’t final. Habit tightened its grip — and she or he says the medicine on the road have been nothing like what she knew again East.
Fentanyl, she mentioned, was stronger, quicker, and way more harmful. “I’d by no means overdosed till I went to California,” she mentioned. “I don’t know what they put in that.”
Violence was fixed.
Ercolino says she witnessed repeated stabbings, robberies, and overdoses — and stepped in when others didn’t. Close to Sixth Road and Alvarado, she says she heard a person screaming that he’d been stabbed. She ran with towels she carried in her bag, pressed them to his chest, and stayed till paramedics arrived. She mentioned he was pronounced lifeless for 13 minutes earlier than being revived.
As he lay bleeding, she mentioned, folks tried to steal from him.
“It’s at all times a struggle there,” she mentioned.
She says she helped revive a number of overdose victims utilizing Narcan and CPR. She remembers a 15-year-old stabbed twice whereas folks stepped over him. “I can’t watch someone die,” she mentioned.
Being alone made all the things worse. Throughout every week separated from David, she says she was terrified — particularly as a lady — and barely slept in any respect. She describes dwelling in a continuing state of alert, too afraid to calm down, too exhausted to suppose clearly.
And he or she says nobody from the town ever provided her assist. “By no means,” she mentioned.
Her approach out got here by means of folks — not packages.
Ercolino mentioned one police officer lastly stopped and listened when she broke down and mentioned the phrases out loud: “I’m able to go residence.” The officer tried to coordinate assist by means of the homeless group Union Station and, when that fell aside, reached out to John Alle — a neighborhood landlord who, on his personal dime, has helped folks escape the streets and get again residence by no matter means mandatory.
The primary try unraveled.
Ercolino went to LAX — however she had no ID. By the point she went by means of TSA questioning, her gate closed earlier than she might get by means of.
She missed her flight and returned to MacArthur Park — the place she spent two extra weeks afraid, alone, and satisfied she would possibly by no means get out.
Lastly, she checked right into a hospital for 5 days to stabilize. Then she known as Alle once more.
He mentioned he would purchase her one other flight residence, and he did. This time, she confirmed up on the airport hours early, secured her ticket, cleared TSA and boarded the aircraft.
This time, she made it.
“I used to be simply relieved,” she mentioned. “I knew I couldn’t keep right here anymore.”
In Alabama, her sister Rebecca picked her up on the airport. Ercolino has seven siblings — six dwelling — and says they welcomed her again with out hesitation. When she noticed her sister Jackie, she broke down. “I’m fortunate I’m respiration nonetheless,” she mentioned.
Now she’s residence for the vacations — clear, clear-headed, and wrapped within the security she practically misplaced — doing strange issues that when felt out of attain: purchasing for Christmas presents along with her sisters, sitting on a sofa with out scanning the room, sleeping by means of the night time with out concern.
After 5 months in a spot the place relaxation felt harmful and each night time was a chance, Ercolino mentioned merely being residence means all the things.
“I’m fortunate I’m respiration,” she mentioned. “I simply need to do higher — and keep alive.”
By all of it, she mentioned, her aim has by no means wavered — to get sober and be a great mom to her twins. “I would like it,” Ercolino mentioned. “I’ve at all times wished it.”
