T’was a Tuesday evening earlier than Christmas, and excessive atop the glittering Retailers at Columbus Circle, a ripped, shirtless Santa straddles a middle-aged lady, grinding to a thumping beat as a half-horrified, half-thrilled crowd of onlookers erupts in screams, whistles and laughter.
Sequins flash, cocktails spill, and telephones whip out to seize the second, as the thing of this not-so-old St. Nick’s momentary affections shrieks and flails in mock protest, in the end discovering herself powerless.
Santa, joined by a bevy of cackling drag queens and dancers shaking feathered skirts, flexes his pecs and winks at his viewers. The room pulses with horny, glad vitality.
The climate outdoors could also be frightful, however the environment at “Santa’s Secret” — one in every of NYC’s hottest vacation reveals this yr — is steamier than the tropics in August, and to many followers, it’s totally pleasant.
Regardless of the howling December winds virtually begging New Yorkers to remain residence and cuddle, the evening’s present was utterly offered out, organizers mentioned.
Now in its fifth yr, the ringmaster of this carnival of festive oddities is opera singer Shequida (actual title Gary Corridor, who wrote, directs and stars) — a Swarovski-dripping drag diva who performs the Ice Queen, Santa’s “disgruntled first spouse,” freshly freed and able to spill many years’ price of tea.
“The world wasn’t prepared for a Black drag queen Mrs. Claus,” Shequida declares loudly, earlier than asserting her mission: vengeance, justice — and satisfying her sexual urges.
“They annulled our marriage and locked me away for hundreds of years — however tonight I broke free and I’m getting attractive, child!”
Leaving nothing to likelihood, the Ice Queen proceeds to simulate fellatio with a microphone, broadcasts that “all sluts” are actually allowed within the North Pole — and impressively flirts with everybody within the neighborhood.
Visitors pay $75 and up for an viewers with Shequida and crew, first wandering upon arrival via eight immersive installations — full with naughty gingerbread girls, rugged lumberjacks and twinkling snow globes — earlier than touchdown inside Santa’s secret showroom.
Right here, Christmas cocktails just like the Mistlehoe Glow move (Tanqueray gin, St-Germain, tonic, cranberries, rosemary), caviar is served upon request at $125 an oz., and a dwell band remixes vacation classics into jazzy, rock-and-roll mashups — the entire thing enjoying out like a festive fever dream, crossed with a speakeasy.
The spectacle encompasses a tight solid of about 10 performers — a high-energy mixture of dancers, singers and acrobats — with every character bursting to life via its personal over-the-top quantity.
There’s a barely dressed lumberjack, the Black Swan, the “actual” Barbie, the Nutcracker, the (now extra devilish) Christmas Angel and the Gingerbread Girl — all acquainted faces, simply turned method up and decidedly extra R-rated than you keep in mind.
As soon as the drinks hit the lamp-lit tables, the hour-long present begins, blurring fantasy and actuality with cheeky rewrites of beloved Christmas lore — together with playful viewers interplay and jaw-dropping performances that earn nightly standing ovations.
Because the evening unfolds, the group learns the “actual x-rated story” of the Nutcracker, and that the “actual Barbie had curves” — proved by a voluptuous burlesque dancer — and that Santa’s notorious Black Swan scandal concerned a bombshell who ditched him for a ripped lumberjack, sending St. Nick right into a jealous spiral that allegedly led to a North Pole intercourse ban.
And because the Ice Queen lastly breaks free, she unleashes the North Pole’s best-kept secrets and techniques, setting everybody else unfastened alongside together with her.
“I believe the vacation season is so horny,” Shequida advised The Publish afterward — saying that she “wrote the present to be a extremely enjoyable, cheeky and grownup method of Christmas.”
It’s campy, chaotic, often cringe — and the viewers appeared to like it all.
“I got here in completely blind with my pals and had no thought what to anticipate, however I cherished the concept of it being an attractive present,” Julia Azcona of Ridgewood, Queens, advised The Publish.
“I used to be shocked by the superb dancing and singing — and at how lovely the costumes had been. I’m very happy,” she mentioned with a giggle.
Her favourite second? The “naughty Christmas angel,” a performer who floated onstage in full holy regalia — wings, ballgown and all — earlier than stripping it away to disclose strategically positioned jingle bells and welcoming viewers members to ring them.
Brooklynite Manny Romano got here to “Santa’s Secret” for date evening together with his spouse, Yesenia Batista, after studying concerning the present via a buddy who labored on the manufacturing.
Romano advised The Publish that he cherished the “actually cool thought” of “revealing every North Pole secret with its personal efficiency and music,” saying it “introduced you again to your childhood, however in an grownup method.”
“I additionally cherished the interactive walkthrough on the best way to my seat itself,” Romano added, noting that being welcomed by drag queen hostess Prima and different festively dressed workers made the evening really feel immersive from the beginning. “It was like there was present even earlier than the primary present.”
Batista agreed — and mentioned the expertise stood out in a metropolis overflowing with vacation spectacles.
“With Christmas reveals, typically they are often cheesy or actually cringey and actually overdo all of it,” she mentioned, “however I believed this was so well-done, distinctive and other than the present itself, the drinks and meals had been so nice.”
Santa’s Secret will run Dec. 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 and 31, with two reveals nightly at 6 p.m. and 9 p.m.
Tickets begin at $75 for basic seating, whereas $110 VIP reserved seats put friends nearer to the stage — and properly throughout the performers’ naughty little orbit.
