The Kennedy political dynasty is within the palms of Jack Schlossberg, who introduced Wednesday that he’s working within the 2026 Democratic major for Jerry Nadler’s soon-to-be vacated Congressional seat.
The 32-year-old has the swarthy beauty of his late uncle John F. Kennedy Jr. Born John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg, he carries his slain grandfather’s identify and boasts levels from Yale and Harvard.
On paper, he’s the perfect bearer of the Kennedy torch.
However on-line, the place he’s cultivated his public picture, Schlossberg has all of the gravitas of an aspiring Bravolebrity determined for likes.
Welcome to Camelot 2025, which might be distilled all the way down to an excessive close-up of JFK’s grandson carrying a blond wig, impersonating First Woman Melania Trump and mocking her Slovenian accent.
After all, that magical period has all the time been a fable of the Kennedys’ personal making — one held up by a slobbering media dazzled by the clan’s telegenic appears and their generational grip on energy.
To at the present time, the household is praised for public service and liberal values, whilst their ugly scandals and shameful remedy of ladies have largely been relegated to footnotes.
Let’s revisit. Ted Kennedy left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown in a automobile within the waters off Chappaquiddick Island in 1969 — and was merely slapped with the penalty of a suspended license. Schlossberg’s grandfather, President Kennedy, was a lothario who slept with celebrities, staffers and even an intern. Grandfather Joseph Kennedy additionally carried on affairs and had his daughter Rosemary lobotomized.
That’s simply the abridged model, with out even opening the chapters on Joe’s grandkids — the place immoral and typically prison habits abound: Medicine, DUIs, rape accusations.
Schlossberg, in the meantime, is a shameless influencer and a purveyor of unhinged social media movies. To his 1.75 million followers throughout X, instagram and TikTok, he asks questions like: “True or false: Usha Vance is manner hotter than Jackie O?“
You may know Jackie O as his grandmother.
Now, with out a lot of a resume, Schlossberg is counting on his heritage.
Take the picture on his marketing campaign web site of him biking round Manhattan in a swimsuit and backwards cap, with a motorcycle chain round his waist. It’s a bizarre effort at cosplaying as his well-known uncle JFK Jr.
And an ironic one, contemplating he lately launched a marketing campaign towards TV creator Ryan Murphy — accusing him of “making thousands and thousands off John, making a public spectacle” of his life for the upcoming collection “An American Love Story.”
To not point out: When Robert F. Kennedy Jr. launched his presidential bid two years in the past with an advert that featured footage of JFK and RFK, Caroline Kennedy — Schlossberg’s mom — was not completely happy about it.
“It additionally wasn’t straightforward to stay silent final 12 months when Bobby expropriated my father’s picture and distorted President Kennedy’s legacy to advance his personal failed presidential marketing campaign,” she later wrote within the New York Instances.
Solely Democrats can use the household archives!
Up to now this household had the great sense to cover their dysfunction behind a veneer of all-American excellence and respectability. For many years, it supplied a Teflon cowl for his or her legacy.
Now we’re within the social media age, which has unlocked an unbridled narcissism in our society and given everybody a spot to air their grievances.
The Kennedy household chaos has been laid naked — and the decision is coming from inside the home, full with public infighting over RFK Jr. that has seen his siblings and cousins name him a “predator.”
Schlossberg is an apt avatar for all of it.
His staff will maintain making an attempt to persuade us that unserious Schlossberg is the Kennedy inheritor the left all the time pined for — and nothing like RFK Jr.
However in actuality, he’s simply one other Kennedy fabricated from idiot’s gold.
